Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You ruined the universe
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
