Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The feeling are messing with the penis
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
