Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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