Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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