I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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