SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
