when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
