Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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