Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
