he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
