i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
