at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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