is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
