it hurts more in the daytime
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
