It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
