Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
