The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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