He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
