The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
