so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
