Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize