hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
