Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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