I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize