some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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