I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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