I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Drunk is not a location!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
