Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
