you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I wear drunk well.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
