we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
