if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
