last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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