yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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