Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
