That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
