dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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