hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
