im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
