john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
