So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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