How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I got inside last night via doggy door
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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