Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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