I love black thongs
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
