i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
