we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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