I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
