If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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