I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
