my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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