I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
