when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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