I think I died a long time ago.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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