Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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