The maid of honor just puked.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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