And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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