There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize