normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
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He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
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Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize