Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Rumble strips road head = magical
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
