your thong is hanging out like whoa
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
