I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
