I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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