so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
