when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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